A Poem in Honor of Valentine's Day

ARRESTED LOVE

I'm sorry to be the one to inform you
but a warrant has been issued for your arrest
and I'll have to take you into custody
until you can see the judge.

What are the charges, you ask
Battery on an unarmed woman
with your eyes you seduced me
with your touch you enslaved me
with your tongue you ignited my fire with the tip of your flame
your hot breath filled my lungs with much needed air
as our bodies mended into one
and your sweet nectar gushed freely
causing my woman-ness to releases its own juices
as your love stick handcuffed my soul

But you were a willing participant, you offer as your defense
Yes, willing to surrender to your every command
as I was under sexual duress, hypnotized by your love

By the way, I'm your judge and jury
Guilty as charged, you admit freely,
And you have not been forced or coerced in any way to confess, you agree.

Well, for the crimes lodged against you
I sentence you to the maximum sentence allowed by love
a lifetime of loving me wholly, completely, for eternity
and that's without the possibility of parole

Your sentence begins immediately
and the punishment will be harsher
if you fail to comply, but you won't
And I promise to be gentle for the duration of your sentence

But be forewarned, good behavior will get you two for one
That's two shots at achieving new heights of pleasure
For each and every attempt.

© 062106 Vanessa A. Johnson

Vanessa A Johnson's Books Published Through Red Rose Publishing

Sacrifices in the Name of Love    

Vanessa Alexander Johnson
 

Mainstream Romance: Multicultural/Interracial Contemporary
ISBN: 978-1-60435-712-7
Cover Artist: Shirley Burnett
Editor: Deatri King Bey
Word Count: 81,406
Release Date: June 3, 2010 by Red Rose Publishing

Uncommon Bond

Vanessa Alexander Johnson
 

Mainstream Romance: Women's Fiction, Contemporary
ISBN: 978-1-4543-0077-9
Cover Artist: Shirley Burnett
Editor: Zena Gainer
Line Editor: Red Rose™ Publishing
Word Count: 18,588
Release Date: July 28, 2011 (**My Birthday**) by Red Rose Publishing

Under the Mistletoe

Vanessa Alexander Johnson
 

Mainstream Romance: Contemporary, Interracial/Multicultural, Holiday: Christmas
ISBN: 978-1-4543-0134-9
Cover Artist: Shirley Burnett
Editor: Zena Gainer
Line Editor: Pam
Word Count: 10,396
Release Date: December 19, 2011 by Red Rose Publishing
http://redrosepublishing.com/books/advanced_search_result.php?keywords=vanessa+alexander+johnson&osCsid=9rov5evd8beqlk7n6rtcapial6&search.x=0&search.y=0

Come and Chat with Author Mickey Sherwood and Me on Saturday, January 21ST

Upcoming Chat with Louisiana Authors Mickie Sherwood and Vanessa A Johnson Coffee Time Romance and More, Saturday, January 21st 6-8 PM CST/7-9 PM EST @ http://karenfindoutaboutbooks.com/. Please mark your calendars and stop by for some good book conversation and some freebies too. Hope to see you there. ♥

New Year To Be The Best Me I Can Be

Happy New Year. As I sit and ponder what I'd like to talk about, I've read many people write about their new year resolutions. I haven't made any new year resolutions. As a matter of fact, I haven't made resolutions in a number of years. Why? Because I've often fallen short to carry through on accomplishing many of them. For years, I resolved to lose weight as many of you have and for years, instead of losing weight, I'd end up gaining some. In 2008, I gave in and had gastric bypass surgery. It was a tough decision I had to make if I wanted to have a better quality and quantity of life.

Now, instead of making a resolution to lose weight, now I've opted to take one day at a time and to do the best I can with each day in order to be the best I can be for myself, my husband, my children and my grandchildren.

One thing I'd like to do is make a bucket list. There are so many things I'd like to do, to accomplish before my number is up. I'd love to be on somebody's best seller list with my writing, I'd love to visit New York for Christmas/New Year to watch the ball drop, I'd love to take a honeymoon with my husband. We're about to celebrate our 34th anniversary on July 18th and never took a honeymoon all those years ago. I'd love to take the Amtrak up the East Coast and make stops along the way. I'd love to visit Hawaii, I'd love to take a 10-14 day cruise on Royal Caribbean Cruise line. These are just some of the things that would be on my bucket list.

Have you made any new year resolutions or made a resolution not to make any particular resolution?
What have you decided to do to be the best that you can be? Do you have a bucket list? What's on Yours?

Upcoming Chat with Coffee Time Romance and More, Saturday, January 21st 6-8 PM CST/7-9 PM EST @ http://www.coffeetimeromance.com/ctr_chat.htm.

Mark your Calendars. Books/ebooks prizes given away throughout the chat. You must be in it to win it.

WHAT'S BAKING :)

Here are some of my favorite cookie recipes that I make and share with family and friends during the holidays. Instead of buying some gifts, these make perfect gifts

WHISKEY/RUM BALLS

1 Large Package vanilla wafers
1 cup powdered sugar
1 cup pecans
1 1/2 tsp cocoa
2 Tbsp white Karo syrup
1/4 cup whiskey or rum

Grind pecans and vanilla wafers. Mix all ingredients and roll into balls the size of a small marble and then roll in powdered sugar. Place balls in an airtight container. For added zest, lightly sprinkle a little more rum or whiskey on top of balls before closing. Enjoy!

MINIATURE PECAN PIES
CRUST: 3/4 stick butter, 3 oz Philadelphia cream cheese, 1 cup flour. Combine ingredients and refrigerate for at least 1/2 hour.

Pecan Mix: 1/2 stick butter, 1 egg, 1 cup pecans, 1 cup light brown sugar, 1/2 cup Karo syrup and 1 tsp vanilla. Remove crust from refrigerator and roll into individual small balls. Press into small muffin pans. Add amount of desired pecan mix. Bake at 325 degree for 30 minutes.

ROCK COOKIES
3 1/2 cup flour, 1 tsp nutmeg, 1 tsp allspice, 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp salt, 1 1/2 cup sugar, 2 sticks butter, 3 eggs (beaten), 1 tsp baking soda (dissolved in 2 tsp water) 2 cups pecans (chopped and floured).

Mix together. Mixture will be thick. Drop by teaspoonfuls on greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 12-14 minutes. Makes 8 dozens.

I'd like to share one of my favorite recipes that's been a staple in my family that we make EVERY Christmas, ever since I can remember. My family's GUMBO recipe. You know the saying, we put everything in it except the kitchen sink. Well, almost everything. But the best thing about GUMBO is, there's no right or wrong ingredient, for you make GUMBO with the ingredients that's pleasing to your pallet. So you can put as many ingredients or as few as you like.
VeeJay’s Gumbo
Ingredients: 

2-3 Large Cooking Spoons of Vegetable Oil 

2-3 Large Cooking Spoons of All Purpose Flour

1 Med size Onion, chopped 
1 Small-med size Bell Pepper cut in small pieces 

1 Tbsp Parsley (fresh or flakes)

Smoked Turkey Necks (cut in chunks - for smoked flavor) (optional) 

1 Lb of your favorite Smoke Sausage cut in bite size pieces (pork, beef or turkey) 

1 Lb Andouille cut in bite size pieces 
4-6 Skinless/boneless chicken breast (cut in pieces) 

8-12 Chicken wings (split, cleaned and seasoned to taste)

2 lb Fresh shrimp (peeled, deveined and seasoned to taste)

Oysters - Fresh or Canned (optional)

4-6 Medium - Large Crabs (fresh or boiled, cleaned and split in half)

1 Pk. Dried Shrimp (optional)

1 Can Mushroom (stems and pieces (optional)

1 Tablespoon Gumbo file’

Salt and Pepper (red) to taste

Accent seasoning to taste 

Garlic Powder to taste
Using a 20 qt Stockpot, fill pot halfway with water. Add cleaned crabs and boil on medium heat for 30 minutes. **Combine 2-3 cooking spoons of oil to 2-3 cooking spoons of flour and cook on low-medium flour to make roux, stirring constantly until desired color is obtained. Add to crab stock and stir until mixed thoroughly. Fill pot ¾ full and let boil for 30 minutes. Add turkey necks, onion, bell pepper and parsley flakes to stock and continue to boil. After 30 minutes add Andouille and smoke sausage and continue to boil. After 30 minutes, add chicken pieces, dried shrimp, gumbo file’ and mushroom pieces and continue to boil for 30 minutes. Add shrimp. Bring to boil and taste before adding any more and salt and pepper to stock. Remove from heat and skim off excess oil on top. Serve hot over cooked rice.
After removing from heat, let cool, stirring occasionally to bring the temperature down evenly. Refrigerate when completely cool.
*Note - As mixture boils down, you can replenish the water, keeping the pot filled near capacity while boiling. Never cover pot completely while boiling. Use seasonings listed above to season meats before adding to stock.
**Additional Note - To cut down on the oil in the roux, you may opt to use instant roux available from your favorite grocer. I use Tony Chachere’s Instant Roux mix, although there are other brands on the market. Prepare according to canned directions.
Variations: You can add okra that has been pre-fried/or baked to remove the slime. To remove slime, cook okra on a low fire in oil )only enough to coat the bottom of the pan, stirring occasionally to keep from sticking or burning. A quicker, easier way to remove the slime is to spray a baking pan with Pam and place the cut okra in the oven on 325 - 350 degrees, stirring occasionally until the slime is gone (usually 1-2 hours depending on amount). Add to stock before you add the chicken.
You can also change this recipe according to your taste buds. You can use only seafood (shrimp, crab/crabmeat and oysters) for a Seafood Gumbo, or omit the seafood and use your favorite meats (sausage and chicken) or whatever meats your taste buds call for. Down south,some people to use Hog Chitterlings and Wild meats (deer, rabbit, coon, just to name a few). Unused gumbo may be frozen for up to 6 months.

Happy eating and Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Every since I can remember the holiday season, beginning with Thanksgiving, has always been my favorite time of the year. It's a time when many truly give thanks for everything and everyone in their lives, not that it's not done all year long as it should be, but it's just a special time of year when we see families get together to share in giving thanks during Thanksgiving, and also when families and friends get together for Christmas, another special time for giving thanks for everyone and everything in our lives.

But, like many, it's also a sad time for me. Sad because through the years I've lost many loved ones, my son, Jalen, my parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts, uncles, and many other relatives and friends.

My first book, When Death Comes a Knockin', is a self-help, inspirational book about loss and grief. I've taken a portion from the book, and further expounded on it in hopes that it might bring comfort and give strength to those who have lost loved ones and are saddened because of it, or those who are saddened for whatever struggles they are facing, particularly during this time of year. It's titled,
Dealing With Loss through the Holidays. Hopefully, by sharing small bits of my journey, it will be a source of comfort to others.

With the holidays approaching and the memories of my departed love ones never far from my thoughts, I reflect back to that first holiday season immediately following the losses of my mother and son, and remember how I dreaded the holidays as they neared.
My mother died in August and my son in September of 1994, so the first holiday without them was Thanksgiving. Prior to 1994, as a family tradition, we spend every Thanksgiving holiday, matter of fact now that I think about it, every holiday at my mother’s house. Because of that, I had no idea of what we would do now that she was gone.
As the holiday drew nearer I began to experience feelings of panic, of insecurity and fear, feelings that seemed to intensity daily. I began to wonder if I would be able to endure the pain of facing the holidays without my love ones as I was certain the pain I felt from those losses would surely increase because my love one(s) were not here to share the holiday with.
The feelings of fear, pain and insecurity began to interfere with my daily thinking process and before long I was not able to focus on one thing for any length of time. This meant that some things either went undone, they weren’t done correctly, or if they were, it took longer for me to complete them.
When Thanksgiving Day finally arrived, I opened my eyes and realized that all of the fears and insecurities that I’d experienced had already reached their peak. I discovered that I was no more fearful or felt any more pain than I’d felt the days, weeks and months preceding the holiday. I realized that all of these feelings were because of my anticipation of facing the holidays without my love ones.
I realized that everyday, whether it was a holiday or not, the pain was no more or no less than what it had already been since losing my loved one(s) holiday. I also realized I’d been living every day without my love ones since their deaths and since I had already survived those days, weeks and months, I knew I would survive Thanksgiving too.
With that realization, the feelings of fear and insecurity didn’t overcome me as the Christmas holiday neared and so too I survived Christmas as well. I’m certainly not saying that I wasn’t sad or I didn’t miss my love ones. I assure you I did. But the anticipation of the holiday didn’t add to the pain of my losses. The pain’s was already there and to some degree, I believe it will always be there.
After surviving my first holiday season without my love ones, I haven’t experienced the type of fear or anxiety over an approaching holiday, birthday, or other special day that I shared with my love ones. I have accepted the fact that my loved ones aren’t with us physically. But it doesn’t mean they can’t be with us spiritually.
I’ve learned that once I accepted that fact I can now face anything that life throws my way. But I did not get to this process of acceptance overnight. It took months of attending Grief counseling in a group setting where I learned the process of grief, and prayer.
I’ve learned to rely on my faith in God. I realize that with God’s help, I could make it through anything, to include the loss of my parents, a child and other special people that impacted my life.
Through my faith in God and in my quest for understanding His word, I feel that God was not responsible for the death of my love ones as God is the giver of life. In John 10:10, He states, “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly,” so He is the one who could help me to get through the loss of my loved ones.
I credit my faith in God for being where I am today in the grief process. I truly believe I wouldn’t have been able to accept (the final stage in the grief process) the loss of my loved ones.
When I am weak and feel that the pain is too much to bear when I think of my loved ones not being here, I turn to God and ask Him for strength and courage to make it through any moment of weakness or sadness.
It is only with the passage of time that will lessen the pain associated with the loss of a love one. There’s so much truth to the saying, “Time heals all wounds.”
If you have suffered the loss of a loved one and a holiday or other special day is approaching and you feel you cannot cope, I urge you to seek some type of grief counseling. Talking with others who have gone through or are going through what you going through can help you make it through the this most difficult time.
Eventually you will be able to face any day, even the holidays knowing that your loved ones are not very far from you. Once you do, you will be able to accept what has happened. You’ll eventually realize that as long as you live with the love of your loved one(s) in your heart, they will always be with you and will live through you.

March 6 - 12th has been designated as Read and Ebook Week. No one will ever have it to say I'm not a team player, so in honor of this special occasion, I wanted to let you know what I'm reading.
Of course, I begin by letting you know about my ebook, Sacrifices In The Name of Love by Vanessa Alexander Johnson, 4.50 · rating details · 4 ratings · 1 review

What sacrifices could you make under the guise of love? Trey Martin, a Black teenager and Tessa Phillips, a white teenager are about to find out in Sacrifices In The Name of Love. They are neighbors in a small Louisiana town where race mixing is still taboo in the 21st century. Despite the objections and beliefs of their parents, the two give in to the desires for each other. Tessa becomes pregnant and creates a web of lies to conceal the baby’s paternity because she fears the wrath of her self-professed racist father. No longer able to hide the truth, Tessa will make some tough and painfulsacrifices, all under the guise of love. Will she be able to live with those sacrifices? Journey with Tessa and Trey as they face challenges that include sex, death, lies, family secrets and forgiveness. Despite those challenges, Tessa is determined to right her wrongs. Will those challenges make or break her as she faces her demons and those of her love ones, too?(less)
Kindle Edition
Published June 3rd 2010 by Red Rose Publishing
ASINB003XVYHEI
I'm reading Looking For Trouble by Erin Kern. It's a contemporary romance, and those of you who know me know I'm a sucker for a good romance. Kern has created two very likable characters, and although I'm only like in Chapter 4, I can already tell there's gonna be some HOT, HOT, HOT stuff happening later in this story. If the rest of the story is an indication of what's to come, I highly recommend you pick up Looking For Trouble.

Here's the book info for Looking For Troubleby Erin Kern

When Noah McDermott, owner of McDermott Construction, walks out into the bright morning sunshine, the last thing he expects is to get run over by a careless woman in a yellow Mercedes. His anger quickly fades into curiosity when the driver turns out to have endless legs and bottomless brown eyes.
Avery Price, daughter of a publishing millionaire, should have followed her instinct and kept driving instead of stopping at a dot on the map. But Trouble, Wyoming is growing on her and she needs a job – fast. So what is she thinking by accepting a job from the man she knocked over with her back bumper?As the two of them work together, the sparks fly. Surely they can be professional and keep from acting on their impulses. Sometimes Noah gets the feeling Avery isn’t who she says she is. Is she just a girl looking for a change or is there more going on than she’s telling him?
Avery quickly adapts to her new life in the middle of nowhere. She has a job for the first time in her life and a boss who turns her on more than her ex-fiancé ever did. But did she make the right choice by leaving home or is she falling deeper into trouble?
Kindle Edition
Published October 12th 2010
ASINB00472O74M
And get this folks, the ebook is only $.99 on Amazon...that's why I love me some ebooks and my Sony Reader....

And so, what books have you written that are available as an ebook, or what book(s) are you reading that's available as an ebook.

Happy Reading.

Vee's Chic Look

Vee's Chic Look by vanejohn featuring juicy couture bags

Hurricane Katrina, 5 Years Later
In recognition of the upcoming5-year ann anniversary of one of the most, if not the most horrific natural events in history, and as a tribute to those who suffered emotionally and/or physically, I'd like to share the following poems:


LEST WE FORGET


Spike gave the world another birds eye view,
a reminder
Of the devastation and destruction caused by Hurricane Katrina

He offered a fitting tribute to the lives lost, many unnecessarily

As our government put on blinders and pretended not to see

As men, women and children, old and young alike

Begged, screamed and cried and pleaded for help 

Some from atop rooftops, atop bridges, while some floated in infested waters

Waters that continued rising, rising, rising up to the sky

Hurricane Katrina may be partly to blame for some of the destruction and lives lost

But a huge burden rests on the shoulders of the government of this free land in the US of A

Spike's documentary serves as a poignant reminder

That not much has changed for those who survived this horrific event

And while there are many who say they're tired of hearing about Hurricane Katrina and its victims

That it was almost a year ago and those people need to move on, get over it

Let this serve as a reminder that
There are still entire communities that resemble war-ravaged countries

There are still countless don't anyplace to live and are waiting on FEMA trailers to call home

There are still countless who are waiting on schools to enroll their children in

There are still countless who are waiting for their ruined homes to be torn down and the debris taken away

There are still bodies being recovered under this debris

There are still over one hundred people who have not been found

There are hundreds of bodies that have yet to be identified in makeshift morgues

So in union with the countless individuals who are still going through it

I beg you to stand in support of these people
Help give them a voice in hopes of giving them some closure

Help give them courage to go on in spite of having lost everything they've ever owned

And prayerfully your voice, your help will make their voices, their cries louder

So that our government WILL be held accountable

To help the people of New Orleans and the Gulf region

Get back a sense of normalcy, a sense of belonging 

Because while nothing will be the same for the victims ever again

With your voice and your help, we can continue to give them hope

For if there is no hope, there surely can be no future.
God help them,
God help us all.

A TRIBUTE TO NEW ORLEANS

New Orleans, pronounced N’Awlins, also known by many as The Big Easy
Endless adult entertainment twenty-four/seven/three hundred sixty-five
Wide-eyed wonder and gleeful amazement for first-timers visitors.

Only party-goers roam the streets of Bourbon in the French Quarter
Revelling in the wicked waters that flow from the fountain taps
Lazily, haphazardly visitors stumble from one bar to another
Each forward step taken clumsier than the ones before
As the sounds of Blues and Cajun serenade the night
Never a dull moment in the city that never sleeps
Specially at Mardi Gras, the grand party of all.

Hurricanes Katrina and Rita attempted to wash you from the face of the earth
Blowing away and pouring tons of its own waters from the rivers and lakes
As men, women and children people were desperate for higher grounds
While many homes have literally been uprooted, torn from foundations
But through it all the spirit of New Orleanians won’t let them quit
For you can take the people out of this great city of New Orleans
But you can’t take the spirit of New Orleans out of the people
Just give them time, time to regroup, reenergize, rebuild
And New Orleans will once again emerge and Jazz
Fest, Essence Fest, Mardi Gras, Bayou Classic,
Sugar Bowl, Super Bowl, Jambalaya, Gumbo,
Crawfish, Red Beans and Rice, Coffee and
Beignets, they’ll all be back and better
Than before with the same resilience
And wonder that the Crescent City
Is infamous for the world over.
Laissez les bons temps rouler.

A TRIBUTE TO HURRICANE KATRINA


Hurricane Katrina announced its arrival
Unleashing its wrath
Raging uncontrollably
Randomly, yet
Indiscriminately
Catapulting catastrophe
And annihilating anything as it swirled and twirled
Nervously from town to town crossing state lines
Erratically about.

Killing aimlessly
Adults and children alike with its
Take no prisoner attitude
Rambunctiously
Indigently leaving empty spaces of
Nothingness where there was once familiarity on
August 29th, the year of our Lord Two Thousand and Five.

A Message To My Brothers That Are Free and On Lock Down in Jail/Prison

Last weekend I visited my nephew in a Federal Prison Camp. I was a first-time visitor to a prison site, although I worked in law enforcement as a 911 Dispatch Supervisor for thirty years. While I admit I was astounded at seeing the comforts and freedoms afforded those sentenced to this camp, in the back of my mind a little voice kept reminding me it was still a prison, albeit a minimum security prison.

There were many other young men, in addition to many males who fell in the category of senior citizen, like my twenty-something year old nephew. The prison was a three-hour drive for me so my sister, my brother-in-law and my grand-nephew spent several hours visiting, chatting and playing cards with my nephew.

My nephew graciously introduced us to some of his 'new' friends there. After each left our table, my nephew said, "That's a good guy." It seems that there were many 'good guys' in there, and in many ways many probable are 'good guys', but that doesn't take away from the fact that all of these 'good guys' are doing time in federal prison for various reasons.

We weren't the only visitors at the camp that day. There were many wives/girlfriends, children/grandchildren visiting also. My newphew has three young children of his own ranging in ages from 9 months - 7 years old, although none of them accompanied us on this visit. Looking around at all of the young children that were visiting their love ones doing time, I thought about my nephew's young children, and all the other young children that these men have fathered and left behind while they are doing time for crimes they've committed, and the ones that proclaim they're doing time but they're innocent.

These young children are fatherless for whatever time these young men are on lock down. I wonder who's going to step in and fulfill these father's shoes during their absence? Although I know my nephew's children have their grandfathers and uncles that will fill in for my nephew, I wonder about the children who don't have anyone to step in for the absent fathers. What will happen to them? Who will be their role model? The Streets? The fast dollar? The corner nickel and dime drug dealer?

To the absent fathers, I ask, "Have you thought about the consequences of your actions? For those that were fortunate enough to be sentenced to this camp with all of its luxuries I wonder, "Is the sentence harsh enough that you wouldn't want to return to such a place?"

As I listened to my nephew describe all the freedoms they have at this prison camp, the little voice kept echoing, it's still prison and the one freedom that's most important in all of this was missing from his description, and that is, he is a prisoner for the next several years and he does not have the freedom to leave, to return to his family and be the father that his young children need. And to me, that was the saddest part of this entire visit. These children are the innocent ones in all of this. They've surely been sentenced to doing time for crimes they didn't commit.

My December 2008 Newsletter


Vanessa A. Johnson Speaks


Greetings and Happy Holidays to you and your family. Let me begin by saying this is my first newsletter. Woohoo!

LITERARY NEWS

Woohoo! I'm writing again. Now, you may be wondering why the celebration. It's a celebration for me because my writing muse has been on an extended vacation. Writer's block, you ask? Nope, I just haven't felt like writing. The characters from my novels in progress have been speaking inside my head, but I've been ignoring them. But, no more! I'm putting my fingers to the keyboard, and I'm plucking away. This newsletter is evidence of that.

What I’m Reading
The Official Study Guide for the Louisiana Notary Examination

My Top 5 Favorite Reads of ‘08
1. Sweet Georgia Brown by Cheryl Robinson
2. Passin’ by Karen Q. Miller
3. An Eye For A Deadly Eye by John A. Wooden
4. In Bed With Her Boss by Brenda Jackson
5. Her Little Black Book by Brenda Jackson

*****
Local Happenings

LET IT SNOW!
In the words of Boys II Men, “Let it snow, let it snow...” It snowed here in Ama, Louisiana on Thursday, December 12th. What's the big deal? Well, if you are familiar with this part of the US (the deep south) we don't see snow too often. As a matter of fact, the last time we had snow here was on December 25, 2004. We got about 1-2 inches, while some other areas saw up to eight inches. And it was beautiful while it lasted, all 3 hours of it.

INSPIRATION

While this may be a happy and joyous time for many, there are many who find themselves sad, depressed, and lonely during this holiday season. For them I offer some words of encouragement, as well as some suggestions on how to handle grief during this holiday season, which are taken from my article, Grief Happens.

Grief, according to Webster's dictionary is defined as deep mental anguish, as that arising from bereavement; 2. A source of deep mental anguish; 3. Annoyance or frustration: Example: Trying to follow their directions was nothing but grief; 4. Trouble or difficulty: Example: the grief of trying to meet a deadline. *

Grief is our response to that loss or change. Everyone reacts to things differently, and it is the same with grief. There are many factors that will determine our reaction to grief; factors such as our personality, age, the relationship we had with our deceased loved one(s), our culture, and our spiritual beliefs and upbringing.

There are five steps to the grief process, Disbelief, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. Everyone may not experience all the steps of the grief process, just as everyone doesn’t experience them in the same order.

There is no right way or wrong way to grieve, and misconceptions about a right or wrong way in the grief process can make the bereaved person question their feelings in relation to the deceased or their sanity if their grief doesn’t happen in neat orderly fashions as society dictates or it doesn’t happen in a timely manner, or we don’t accept the loss when others think we should. I can’t count the many times I’ve heard people say, “Oh you should be over your grief by now.”

Understanding what grief can be like; finding ways to safely express those emotions, and coming up with coping strategies can help the bereaved person endure the pain of their loss or the change in their environment.

Grief includes a wide range of emotions that include, but are not limited to: anger, anxiety, change in worldview, confusion, depression, despair, drop in self-esteem, fear of going insane, feeling unable to cope, guilt and remorse, helplessness, hopelessness, loneliness, questioning your value and belief system, relief, shock and disbelief.

Losing a loved one or being faced with a change in your normal environment can be life-shattering events that affect you emotionally, physically and spiritually. So it is important that you try to look after yourself in order to help you move along in the grief process, and not become stagnant in one or more of the steps of the grief process.

Some suggestions that might help you progress through grief are:

•Diet and exercise – grief’s impact on the body can cause symptoms including sleeplessness, anxiety, restlessness that can affect your internal system as well. Taking care of you by paying attention to diet and getting regular exercise can help to alleviate many, if not all of these problems.

•Relaxation - schedule some time every day to wind down, using whichever methods that work for you, i.e., meditation, taking long baths, playing sports, reading, doing hobbies such as cooking/baking, doing puzzles, surfing the internet or listening to music.

•Avoid chemical stimulants - try to avoid turning to drugs such as cigarettes, alcohol or antidepressants to help you manage your grief. They won't ease your pain. They can cause other health problems and in some cases can assist in prolonging your grief.

•Be realistic - try to be kind and gentle to yourself. Accept that you need to grieve in the ways that feel natural to you. Don't judge or criticize yourself for not coping as well as you think you should or how others think you should.

Some coping strategies to help you through grief include:

•Crying - Some people feel that crying isn't appropriate or else they're afraid that once they start crying, the tears won't stop. If you feel the need to cry, do it. Crying is our normal human response to many of life’s heartaches. However, if there are no tears, it does not mean that there is no grief. As I’ve said before, everyone grieves differently. Crying is cleansing and good for the soul.

•Spend time alone - schedule time alone every day to focus on your feelings and express them in whichever way feels natural to you. For example, you may choose to study the word of God and praying, or write a diary or journal. Computers can simplify the journaling process for you, as there are many uses with them. Computers come loaded with writing programs already installed on them, i.e., Word, Word Perfect, and if you have access to the Internet, there’s the world of Blogging.

A Blog, short for weblog, is defined as a personal or noncommercial web site that uses a dated log format (usually with the most recent addition at the top of the page) and may contains links to other web sites along with commentary about those sites.**

There are many free online sites that provide the place and space for you to create an online. Some are:
•MyDearDiary.com
•OpenDiary.com
•Deardiary.net
•My-Diary.org
•Livejournal.com
•www.thoughts.com
•Your computer should have some type of Microsoft software already installed on your computer, i.e., Word, Word Perfect, Notes, etc. Using this alternative, no one can view your journal unless you want them to do so.

The following website is also a good resource for finding online diaries and journals: http://dir.yahoo.com/Social_Science/Communications/Writing/Journals_and_Diaries/Online_Journals_and_Diaries/. Or you can simply Google the words, online journal or online diaries, for additional options that may be best suited for your needs.

Other forms of coping strategies are:

•Spending time with your family - schedule time to grieve as a family if possible. This time could include talking about the deceased, crying together and sharing your feelings together.

•Pampering yourself - include activities in your daily or weekly schedule that you enjoy, i.e., a massage, a spa treatment, getting manicures and/or pedicures, or hair done.

•Developing a Support system (if you don’t already have one) - actively seek out support from others. This could include friends, co-workers, doctors, community health centers, bereavement support groups or professional counselors. Talking is helpful in just about every situation life presents. Talking can keep those involved from feeling isolated. The right words spoken from the right person at the right time can make all the difference in the world to the bereaved. Don't be ashamed to discuss your feelings that may arise from any situation that may cause you grief.

In addition to interacting with a support system physically, there are online groups that offer support as well. Some online support groups are:
•http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/Grief_Group
•http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/grief_support
•http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/LIVING_WITH_GRIEF
•http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/TheBereavementJourney
•http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/healingheartshaven

There are hundreds, if not thousands more groups like these. If you have Internet access, you can perform a search using key words such as grief, grief groups, or grief support to find one that’s suitable for you.

•Create a memorial – If may like to write letters to your loved one, plant a memorial tree, put together a special photo album, or commemorate their life in whichever ways feel meaningful to you and your family. Again, the Internet can be a nice source for creating an online web site or displaying and sharing photos with others. If you have Internet connections, your Internet Service Provider (ISP) may provide capabilities for doing this. Some free Websites that allow you to create memorial sites for your loved ones are:
www.last-memories.com
www.memory-of.com
www.christianmemorials.com
www.gonetoosoon.org
www.muchloved.com
www.sympathytree.com

•Seek Professional help - see your family physician for help and referral if you feel out of control and regardless of what you do, you can’t progress through one or more of the steps of the grief process.

Remember, healing is the end result of the steps of grief. By healing, I mean coming to terms and accepting the loss. While many, if not all of the emotions associated with grief seem to come and go, it is important to feel them and accept them. There is no quick fix or magic pill that will suddenly make these feelings and emotions disappear overnight, or in days, weeks or even months, especially with loss through death, but grief can be short-lived for some things that cause you grief.

With the passage of time, patience, and compassion from yourself and others, you will eventually be able to find your center again. You will feel restored and you will be able to adapt to your new ‘normal’. Also remember that time does heal all wounds. The End.

*****

WHAT'S BAKING :)

Here are some of my favorite cookie recipes that I make and share with family and friends during the holidays. Instead of buying some gifts, these make perfect gifts

WHISKEY/RUM BALLS

1 Large Package vanilla wafers
1 cup powdered sugar
1 cup pecans
1 1/2 tsp cocoa
2 Tbsp white Karo syrup
1/4 cup whiskey or rum

Grind pecans and vanilla wafers. Mix all ingredients and roll into balls the size of a small marble and then roll in powdered sugar. Place balls in an airtight container. For added zest, lightly sprinkle a little more rum or whiskey on top of balls before closing. Enjoy!

MINIATURE PECAN PIES
CRUST: 3/4 stick butter, 3 oz Philadelphia cream cheese, 1 cup flour. Combine ingredients and refrigerate for at least 1/2 hour.

Pecan Mix: 1/2 stick butter, 1 egg, 1 cup pecans, 1 cup light brown sugar, 1/2 cup Karo syrup and 1 tsp vanilla. Remove crust from refrigerator and roll into individual small balls. Press into small muffin pans. Add amount of desired pecan mix. Bake at 325 degree for 30 minutes.

ROCK COOKIES
3 1/2 cup flour, 1 tsp nutmeg, 1 tsp allspice, 1 tsp cinnamon, 1/2 tsp salt, 1 1/2 cup sugar, 2 sticks butter, 3 eggs (beaten), 1 tsp baking soda (dissolved in 2 tsp water) 2 cups pecans (chopped and floured).

Mix together. Mixture will be thick. Drop by teaspoonfuls on greased cookie sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 12-14 minutes. Makes 8 dozens.

As you can see, I love baking, and I love short recipes when I do so. I also love collecting recipes, and now I'm in the process of writing down some of my family's recipes that I may eventually put together in a cookbook. So if there's something you're craving for and need a recipe for it, nine times out of ten, I'll have it in my collection or my head. Hit me up at vjohns1@bellsouth.net. I'd be happy to share it with you.

*****

Next month I'll share an excerpt of one of my novels that I'm rewriting. In addition, I'll share my experience regarding my trip to Washington, D.C. for the inauguration festivities. That's right, my daughter, Alexis and I will be trekking to our nation's capitol.

This is my first newsletter and I know it won't be the last one. But for now, I'd like to take this time to wish you and yours a very safe and happy holiday season. Most importantly, let us all remember the REASON for the SEASON. In closing, I'd like to share a poem titled, Not Even Hurricane Katrina Could Cancel Christmas in New Orleans, taken from my poetry collection (unpublished) titled, Creole Talking, Ramblings of A Creole Country Girl:

Not Even Hurricane Katrina could Cancel Christmas in New Orleans

Since that faithful day in the year of our Lord 2005, on Monday, August Twenty-ninth,
When a girl named Katrina, so life-like, spewed it’s fury, oh my what a sight,
As it blew in over several of the South’s Gulf States,
Claiming lives, destroying property and changing everyone’s fate.

Many people were left homeless and scattered about,
With only the clothes on their backs, that left little doubt,
About their present situations, their futures, with the holidays looming,
Many residents were left near their breaking points, fuming.

Homes that weren’t destroyed sported blue plastic paper that covered damaged roofs,
Public Officials warned, ‘no fireworks’ to keep those blue roofs from going poof,
That didn’t make it easy for St. Nick to maneuver through the darkened city,
For you see, many areas still have no electricity, a quiet eerie, what a shame and a pity.

The people of this great city didn’t let Katrina dampen their holiday spirit,
They strung lights, and other Christmas decorations determined to overcome it,
As gumbos simmered, stuffing prepared as their butterballs were basting,
“Ain’t got time for this foolishness,” they said, “time’s a wasting.”

St. Nick managed to bring a smile to many faces,
Temporarily replacing the despair in the hearts of all races,
And Christmas went on with very few hitches,
Didn’t cause much fanfare, despite all the obvious glitches.

Hopefully soon the ghost of Hurricane Katrina will be a distant memory,
And Christmas Future will present a completely different and festive story.

THAT'S All FOLKS! See you in '09

Love & Peace,
Vanessa A. Johnson
www.vanessaajohnson.com
http://vanessaspeaks.blogspot.com
www.myspace.com/vanessaajohnson

VeeJay's Thoughts

VeeJay's Thoughts

Today is December 11, 2008, and it snowed here in Louisiana. Now, if you're familiar with the south, you know it is not often it snows down here. As a matter of fact, the last time we saw snow in southern Louisiana was December 25, 2004.
As I stood in the doorway and watched the beautiful white fluffy powder cascade gently from the sky, I felt a bit of melancholy, a bit of sadness too. While the snow itself was beautiful, it felt dark and dreary, damp at the same time. Maybe it was the dampness that clouded my mood. I also remembered that the Christmas holiday is fast approaching, and I remembered that although this may be a happy time for many, it is also a sad and depressing time for many. Some may blame it on the economy, while others may have other hardships that they're facing, i.e., the loss of a loved one, relationship issues, loneliness, etc.
Whatever it is that has you in the mental state you're in (sadness, depression, loneliness) I'd like to share this piece I wrote a few years ago to accompany my book, When Death Comes a Knockin' (a self-help, inspirational book about loss and grief, ISBN: 1-4116-2470-X) titled Dealing With Loss Through the Holidays.
Dealing With Loss through the Holidays

With the holidays approaching and the memories of my departed love ones never far from my thoughts, I reflect back to that first holiday season immediately following the losses of my mother and son, and remember how I dreaded the holidays as they neared.

My mother died in August and my son in September of 1994, so the first holiday without them was Thanksgiving. Prior to 1994, as a family tradition, we spend every Thanksgiving holiday, matter of fact now that I think about it, every holiday at my mother’s house. Because of that, I had no idea of what we would do now that she was gone.

As the holiday drew nearer I began to experience feelings of panic, of insecurity and fear, feelings that seemed to intensity daily. I began to wonder if I would be able to endure the pain of facing the holidays without my love ones as I was certain the pain I felt from those losses would surely increase because my love one(s) were not here to share the holiday with.

The feelings of fear, pain and insecurity began to interfere with my daily thinking process and before long I was not able to focus on one thing for any length of time. This meant that some things either went undone, they weren’t done correctly, or if they were, it took longer for me to complete them.

When Thanksgiving Day finally arrived, I opened my eyes and realized that all of the fears and insecurities that I’d experienced had already reached their peak. I discovered that I was no more fearful or felt any more pain than I’d felt the days, weeks and months preceding the holiday. I realized that all of these feelings were because of my anticipation of facing the holidays without my love ones.

I realized that everyday, whether it was a holiday or not, the pain was no more or no less than what it had already been since losing my loved one(s) holiday. I also realized I’d been living every day without my love ones since their deaths and since I had already survived those days, weeks and months, I knew I would survive Thanksgiving too.

With that realization, the feelings of fear and insecurity didn’t overcome me as the Christmas holiday neared and so too I survived Christmas as well. I’m certainly not saying that I wasn’t sad or I didn’t miss my love ones. I assure you I did. But the anticipation of the holiday didn’t add to the pain of my losses. The pain’s was already there and to some degree, I believe it will always be there.

After surviving my first holiday season without my love ones, I haven’t experienced the type of fear or anxiety over an approaching holiday, birthday, or other special day that I shared with my love ones. I have accepted the fact that my loved ones aren’t with us physically. But it doesn’t mean they can’t be with us spiritually.

I’ve learned that once I accepted that fact I can now face anything that life throws my way. But I did not get to this process of acceptance overnight. It took months of attending Grief counseling in a group setting where I learned the process of grief, and prayer.

I’ve learned to rely on my faith in God. I realize that with God’s help, I could make it through anything, to include the loss of my parents, a child and other special people that impacted my life.

Through my faith in God and in my quest for understanding His word, I feel that God was not responsible for the death of my love ones as God is the giver of life. In John 10:10, He states, “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly,” so He is the one who could help me to get through the loss of my loved ones.

I credit my faith in God for being where I am today in the grief process. I truly believe I wouldn’t have been able to accept (the final stage in the grief process) the loss of my loved ones .

When I am weak and feel that the pain is too much to bear when I think of my loved ones not being here, I turn to God and ask Him for strength and courage to make it through any moment of weakness or sadness.

It is only with the passage of time that will lessen the pain associated with the loss of a love one. There’s so much truth to the saying, “Time heals all wounds.”

If you have suffered the loss of a loved one and a holiday or other special day is approaching and you feel you cannot cope, I urge you to seek some type of grief counseling. Talking with others who have gone through or are going through what you going through can help you make it through the this most difficult time.

Eventually you will be able to face any day, even the holidays knowing that your loved ones are not very far from you. Once you do, you will be able to accept what has happened. You’ll eventually realize that as long as you live with the love of your loved one(s) in your heart, they will always be with you and will live through you.

Another Star Athlete Bites The Dust

On every news station today, the opening story was, Marion Jones Admits To Using Steroids. This comes on the heels of the Michael Vick case, whereas Vick eventually pleaded guilty of financing a dog-fighting ring. I say eventually, because like Jones, Vick too vehemently denied the allegations via a press conference with the world as his audience, as did Jones back in 2004. We can't forget the continual accusations against home-run king, Barry Bonds either.

I suppose one might be asking, what's my point? Well I'll tell you. My point is I am so sick and tired of African American athletes making a fool of themselves, while squandering the opportunities of a lifetime, in Vick's case, quarterback in the NFL, and Jones' case, gold medalists. Why is this bugging me? It's bugging the hell out of me because I know of so many young people who would practically give their right arm to have the opportunities these individuals have had.

I'd bet some money and say that neither Vick nor Jones needed these enhancements, as they had God-given talent. So, why would they risk everything they worked for, dreamed of, by using these enhancements in the first place as in Jones and Bond's case, or participate in illegal activities in Vick's case? Didn't they realize, or didn't anyone tell them that they would be under the world's bigger microscope just because of the color of their skin? Didn't anyone ever tell them that they had to be twice as good as the next athlete? I'd venture to say someone did, but that didn't mean using enhancements in their bodies to make them better. That just meant that they had to work harder to get to and remain at the top of their games.

Steroid use had been the topic of many conversations on the sports channels lately, particularly when it became evident that Bonds was set to break Babe Ruth's record, and lo and behold when he did break it he just had to have had help in doing so. But according to many sports analysts, steroid use is very prevalent in sports, yet I don't see them hounding the white athletes (anyone remember the Farve prescription drug abuse case?) as ferocious as they're pursuing Bonds, and obviously Jones too because of her confession.

Now, like Vick, Jones is facing the possibility of spending some time in jail because of her participation in, and then lying about the illegal activity. Jones will be stripped of her gold and bronze medals won in the Olympics, while the Atlanta Falcons organization is demanding over twenty million dollars Vick received from them. And you can bet, they're lying in wait for Bonds to admit he used steroids also so they can strip him of his home-run title.

It's often said that everything happens for a reason. Maybe one of the reasons behind these public embarrassments will be that it will remind future athletes that they will be scrutinized under the world's microscope and that they'd better rely on their God-given talent to fulfill their dreams, and not steroid enhancements, or participate in other illegal activities that will take them down faster than they can say their names because sadly, they will be surely judged more harshly. (Can somebody say THE JENA SIX!) So yes, in 2007, we (African Americans) have to be twice as good, twice as smart as our white counterparts because the world is staring at us through their microscopic sunglasses daring us to rely on just our God-given talents.

Love & Peace,
VeeJay

A One-Person Retirement Party

Well, officially it's been two and a half months since my retirement from my job. I've taken on a remodeling job in my master bathroom and bedroom. That's completed. I've cleaned closets, made room for Christmas decorations that's been sitting in boxes and plastic containers in the corner of my dining room. I ask, "What's next," as I scan my surroundings.

Summer's over and the kids are back in school. On several mornings on the drive back from bringing my daughter to school, I've called some friends thinking maybe we could do breakfast or something, only to realize or after being reminded that they were either already at work, or on their way to work.

It has finally dawned on me that I am not even fifty years young and yes, I'm retired. That's not the problem though. The real problem is that no one else in my friends circle is retired. Therefore, unless they're on vacation, or other type of leave from work, I'm left by my lonesome to eat breakfast, go shopping, visit the casino, whatever I'm in the mood to do.

If there's one thing I miss about the workforce, it's sharing morning coffee with coworkers and friends, people that I've done this routine with for many years. Now, don't get me wrong, they couldn't offer me double my salary to return back to the workforce. There's a saying, "You can't miss what you've never had." But, in a small and significant way, I do miss that interaction.

My coworkers and I would use that time to catch up on the happenings in our community, share tidbits of gossip from either in the community or work or just give updates on our kids, whether funny stories, their accomplishments, or lack thereof. While these could certainly be classified as 'little' things, that we've all taken for granted, it's on days like today I can say those little things have moved over to the category of being priceless.

In spite of my sometimes lonliness, I'll survive though. Those moments are certainly not enough to make me want to return back to the workplace. The moral of this story, enjoy what time you have with coworkers, especially those who are fortunate enough to fall in the 'friends' category. As with most things in life, everything must come to an end.

In Rememberance of all of the survivors of Hurricane Katrina which struck Louisiana and the Gulf Coast Region, I wrote this poem, which was in part inspired by Spike Lee's Documentary, When The Levees Broke...

LEST WE FORGET

Spike gave the world another birds eye view, a reminder
Of the devastation and destruction caused by Hurricane Katrina
He offered a fitting tribute to the lives lost, many unnecessarily
As our government put on blinders and pretended not to see
As men, women and children, old and young alike
Begged, screamed and cried and pleaded for help
Some from atop rooftops, atop bridges, while some floated in infested waters
Waters that continued rising, rising, rising up to the sky
Hurricane Katrina may be partly to blame for some of the destruction and lives lost
But a huge burden rests on the shoulders of the government of this free land in the US of A
Spike's documentary serves as a poignant reminder
That not much has changed for those who survived this horrific event
And while there are many who say they're tired of hearing about Hurricane Katrina and its victims
That it was almost a year ago and those people need to move on, get over it
Let this serve as a reminder that
There are still entire communities that resemble war-ravaged countries
There are still countless don't anyplace to live and are waiting on FEMA trailers to call home
There are still countless who are waiting on schools to enroll their children in
There are still countless who are waiting for their ruined homes to be torn down and the debris taken away
There are still bodies being recovered under this debris
There are still over one hundred people who have not been found
There are hundreds of bodies that have yet to be identified in makeshift morgues
So in union with the countless individuals who are still going through it
I beg you to stand in support of these people
Help give them a voice in hopes of giving them some closure
Help give them courage to go on in spite of having lost everything they've ever owned
And prayerfully your voice, your help will make their voices, their cries louder
So that our government WILL be held accountable
To help the people of New Orleans and the Gulf region
Get back a sense of normalcy, a sense of belonging
Because while nothing will be the same for the victims ever again
With your voice and your help, we can continue to give them hope
For if there is no hope, there surely can be no future.
God help them, God help us all.

Love & Peace,
VeeJay

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

July 28 is the 209th day (210th in leap years) of the year in the Gregorian Calendar, with 156 days remaining.

On this day, 48 years ago, I was born.

Happy Birthday to me,

Happy Birthday to me,

Happy Birthday, Dear me

Happy Birthday, to me.

Love & Peace,

VeeJay